A rigorous, peer-reviewed comparison of what the patch notes said and what actually happened topside. Peer review conducted by three guys in a bush on Buried City.
Update 1.3.0 — 'Balance & Stability'
Allegedly deployedWhat the patch notes saidImproved server stability across all regions.
What actually happenedThe servers are indeed stable. Stably at 200 ping. Rubber-banding is now considered a movement tech.
Technically true
What the patch notes saidAdjusted ARC Hornet aggression to feel more fair in early-game encounters.
What actually happenedHornets now form organized labor unions and strike your exact position within 0.2 seconds of you making any sound, including breathing.
Press X to doubt
What the patch notes saidFixed an issue where players could get stuck in geometry near the Dam.
What actually happenedPlayers can no longer get stuck in that rock. A new, better rock has been provided 40 meters away.
Technically true
What the patch notes saidReduced the spawn rate of low-value loot in high-risk areas.
What actually happenedOpened a red-zone locked container. Inside: one (1) spool of thread and a sponge. Risked our whole kit for a sponge.
Press X to doubt
Update 1.2.0 — 'Quality of Life'
Two wipes ago (emotionally)What the patch notes saidImproved inventory management with new sorting options.
What actually happenedThere is a sort button now. It works. We have verified this personally and are still emotional about it.
Actually shipped
What the patch notes saidMatchmaking improvements to reduce queue times.
What actually happenedQueue times reduced from 4 minutes to 3:58. The extra two seconds are added to the Speranza elevator instead. Conservation of waiting.
Technically true
What the patch notes saidAddressed reports of players using unauthorized third-party software.
What actually happenedThe guy who beamed your whole squad through a wall on Spaceport sends his regards. He is level 12 and named after a car.
Press X to doubt
What the patch notes saidVoice chat audio quality improvements.
What actually happenedProximity chat betrayals are now delivered in crystal-clear audio. You can hear the smirk before the shotgun.
Actually shipped
Update 1.1.0 — 'The Big One'
The before timesWhat the patch notes saidNew map content and expanded points of interest.
What actually happenedBeautiful new area. Gorgeous. Stunning. Everyone lands there, dies within 90 seconds, and goes back to farming the same three sheds as before.
Technically true
What the patch notes saidWeapon balance pass: some weapons were over-performing.
What actually happenedYour favorite gun. Yes, that one. It now fires apologies. Meanwhile the gun that killed you 14 times yesterday remains 'within acceptable parameters.'
Press X to doubt
What the patch notes saidFixed various client crashes.
What actually happenedVarious crashes were indeed fixed. A limited-edition new crash has been introduced for players about to extract with a full bag. Collectors item.
Technically true
What the patch notes saidScrappy the rooster received minor visual polish.
What actually happenedScrappy has never looked better. 10/10. Game of the year. No further notes. This is the only patch note that matters.
Actually shipped
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